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Strong


I’ve come to loathe the word strong

Not only because I’ve heard it more than anyone should in their lifetime

but for so many other, painful reasons

Here, I’ll name a few that come to mind

First up is the weight that came with that word

Then the pride shattering times I would beg for compassion,

For any kind of help, and got a mere

"you’re strong, 'you will overcome this'"

Or the worst of all "Everything will be okay"

Foolish me, did I really expect to be seen as more than the beacon of light for those who willingly choose the dark

Forced to accomplish everyone’s goals and ambitions, forgetting I have my own

Now burnt out, having nothing left to pour into my own happiness and dreams

Tasked with being a nurturer and provider

Manipulated into being a 24/7 counselor on speed dial

More often than I'd like to admit, allowing myself to be used as a personal hitman on retainer

At what price ?

Their cheap “your strength is inspiring”

Or my all round well-being and sanity

All I know is that it's the retainer I can no longer afford to cover on their behalf.

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